As Christmas is swiftly approaching I am having to make some tough decisions on what to buy my daughter and her husband for Christmas. My daughter maintains that they are not using meth anymore, but there are so many signs, I just don't know what to believe.
Neither of them work or are actively looking for work.
They keep getting different cell phones about once per week (I think the old phones either get their bills ditched out on, or they get broken in physical fights)
My daughter had a bruise on her cheekbone about 2 weeks ago from an obvious fight.
One afternoon I stopped at her ap't unannounced and they had all their storm windows up with the screens open to the Nov. weather with a fan blowing into or out of the house. BTW: when I confronted her about this, she really didn't have a reason why. When I guessed it was because they had been smoking meth and was trying to air the house out before the daughter came home she replied, "we wouldn't smoke it mom, we would inject it."
My daughter is still an average weight (she was always grossly overweight - when sober and in treatment).
Her and I currently are not even speaking because I voiced my opinion to her 10 year daughter that I suspicioned she was using drugs again, and of course she told her mother (my daughter)
My daughter never comes over to this house, or has anything to do with me at all unless it is to drop off her daughter (the 10 year old) at my house. (this has been going on for months now)
Previously, anything of value I have ever bought her or my g-daughter has ended up broken, stolen, or pawned. (and NO I am not letting my g-daughter take anything of value back to their ap't after Christmas).
I am trying to make a list of things I want to say to her, or discuss with her to make some decisions before Christmas. It would go something like this:
1). neither of you are actively seeking jobs - how can you think that not working is okay?
2). will each of you take a meth drug test if I go and buy it from Walmart (immediately, on the spot)
3). what is the deal with all the different cell phones???
4). why should I believe that you and he could maintain sobriety when it is the hardest drug in the world to stop using? Actually - what is the % of people who can just say "no, I am not using meth any longer" without actually becoming incarcerated?
Someone told me to ask them this, "Do sober people live like they do?" If they get food baskets & gasoline gift cards for Christmas gifts she will blame ME for talking about her to family members, telling them to not get her anything of real value, but isn't their behavior for the past 20+ years what forces us to give these types of gifts in the first place?
She and her husband are on 10 year suspended prison sentences, probation for a few years for manufacturing with the intent to distribute from fall 2009. They were sentenced Sept. 2010, a little over 1 yr. ago. Any advice would be appreciated and taken as helpful.