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well this is kinda crazy...first off i guess ill tell u a lil bout myself....i am 18 years old livin in a very small town in indiana. i am currently a meth addict for almost 2 years. i have been strugglin 4 a minute wit this. the first year was ok my first experiences were thru snortin which is not as addictive. i only used about 2 times in the first year so i didnt no the first thing about addiction. then one day when me my bor n his girlfriend went moonlight bowling he decided 2 let me try my first "hit" of meth. i remember the first thing i thought was wow...wat is this taste? chemicals can taste good? it was really weird. the rest of the nigh i was feelin good. i had probably been smokin weed all day as was normal n i was drinkin at the bowling alley after smokin crank. after that i didnt really do it much...maybe once or twice a month *$%* i dont remember now...ne wayz somehow at some point i began usin more frequently. i didnt realize that the first few months i was doin it i wasnt really gettin high...then one day i was wit one of wat used 2 b my really good friends at her stepdads...which was a pretty big dealer...n i got actually "high" high for the first time. that is wat i consider my "first hit". sounds crazy but as soon as i inhaled that evil smoke i knew it was over with. i knew id be a regular user. i mean its not like i didnt know i could get it whenever, however i wanted. ok this is where i have 2 explain my history. i grew up in a crank household even before i actually knew wat was goin on. my mom and 2 brothers have been addicted 2 speed 4 a long as time. i pretty much raised myself 4 a long time bc my family was always locked in the bedroom smokin dope. we lived in a very rural area outide of town. we only had 3 houses around us 1 of which was my grandparents...but all related in some way.we lived so far away that the only people i had 2 play wit growin up were 4 boys 2 about 4 years older, 1 my age, and 1 a year younger. so i was usually bein a tomboy, n ive always ran wit older people, usually my brothers friends. if not i was alone, in the woods or in my room, but alone either way. i fed myself, bathed myself, even as young as 8 i had 2 get myself up in the mornin n get on the bus 4 school bc my mom worked an hour away n had 2 leave at 3 in the mornin. my brothers usually jus didnt go 2 school.so i have always been self dependant. i didnt no wat my family was doin till i was 11. i thought they were jus smokin pot. well 1 day the cops showed up n my house got raided. it looked like it was straight outa gangster movie r somethin. there were about 8 cop cars, a swat bus, n some unmarked cop cars filling my front yard. they had both ends of the road by my house blocked off. there were at least 40 cops, all dressed in full swat gear. the 1s in front were hidin behind sheilds pointin guns at us. they searched every1 even me n took my mom n brothers 2 jail. 1 reason they were there was lookin 4 my brothers friend who was a major cook, supplyin almost every1 n he was on the run 4 a long time n they jus couldnt catch him. the guy is now my boyfriend he is grat btw. they ended up catchin him wit 170 grams n 30,000+ dollars. he got 30 years in 1 county n 20 in another. he is still in prison now gettin out at the earliest in 2011. ne ways the point i want 2 make is that i grew up with this +$$#$% up drug 4 a long time. years n years b4 i started usin i was familiar wit everythin about it. it was only a matter of time b4 i fell victim...now i jus wish i woulda never took that first hit...i shoulda listened 2 everyone tellin me 1 hits all it takes 2 *$%* up ur life bc its true...now im stuck in a *%%%#+ hugh major insanely complicated struggle that is far bigger and badder than myself...god help us....