I am feeling super shitty right now. I been up all night on one when a few days ago I had promised myself I would quit. It is ridiculous because as soon as
this physically and mentally shitty feeling goes away it's back to the other bad feeling of being anxious and anti-social and depressed. How does one
cope? They say this feeling lasts for a few years even after you quit and the only way i've been used to handling it is to smoke. What the hell, and I
don't have any motivation when i'm not high either. What's up? anyone have any good advice for me? or some reassurance that i'm not in this
alone. I feel like i'm losing my mind, help.
Whats Worse? The Come Down or Dealing with Life While Healing From Meth Abuse?
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 mizrossi |
Whats Worse? The Come Down or Dealing with Life While Healing From Meth Abuse? |
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Posts: 1 (07/01/09 13:43:59) |
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Skyzthelimit |
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Posts: 4176 (07/01/09 18:11:46) Meth Madness Owner,Chat Monitor |
You certainly aren't alone, Miz. I'm sorry you feel bad right now too. My thoughts go out to you tonight.
The part about telling ourselves we will quit is a vicious cycle isn't it? I hate that part. I used to get so mad at myself when I'd give in and then I'd get JUST as upset when I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me and I'd use to 'fix' myself for a bit. Trouble is... what I had to realize is I couldn't 'fix' myself. I had to get to the root of my problems, and SOME I didn't even feel I had at all, and deal with all 'those' to truly begin to make changes in my life. The other thing I had to realize was that what I was doing was also only CAUSING more problems and (included) a much earlier death from all the unseen damage I put my body through. I'm certainly paying for it 'now'.... You aren't alone at all so hugs my dear. The feeling can last a very long time, yes. For some MANY years. So, the thing we need to look at is why we even use. Many of us use for many different reasons so with the things you mentioned above your best option is to try to find a doctor (or free clinic) to see you about addressing 'those' issues of what you are feeling that lead you to use in the first place. Physical issues being one area and then the mental aspect as another. Each issue needs to be addressed to get a 'full' scope of trying to gain a healthier approach to a better lifestyle. Yet, as I'm sure you already know though,... truly taking a stand and demanding of yourself a better life is what happens 'first' and foremost. We all tell ourselves that we don't have an issue or a problem or that we can 'fix it' ourselves. Wrong. We can't... usually. We have to push that stupid PRIDE aside and realize that SOME things just need more help and in your case possibly seeking a physician to help with anxiety and whatnot. Many times we are depressed and we don't even realize it. I was on Lexapro for a while and that seemed to help for anxiety, depression and balancing me out some. If you are wanting to quit and wanting to ease your body into a healthier position I'd drink a ton of water. I'd also get some antioxidants or a 'drug flush' to get all that toxic crap out of your system. Those aren't that expensive. Mind you though if you are a smoker (like myself) it will take a little longer but Health Food Stores have these kinds of products. Eating right and VERY important forcing yourself to get enough SLEEP is vidal, (even if you have to take a Tylenol PM) or even a natural herbal pill to help. More oranges, banana's, fruits / veggies in general helps. And, if you are like me, (I hate most veggies), V8 has a new drinks that has both veggies and fruits in it and tastes like fruit juice. I just tried one last week and was pleasantly surprised!!! Exercise. I know .... I know... it sucks. BUT, helping your body sweat and pump out the toxic waste will help too AND gives your blood and body more oxygen (which helps with energizing you/ raising your metabolism). And... I've never used it before (think I might soon),.... those new patches for the FEET that suck out toxin you put on your feet overnight? I've heard those are great. And, being FEMALE, 100% suggest you start using IRON "FE" from Walmart or Walgreens for feeling sluggish/ fatigued. A ton of women don't even realize just how iron deficient they are......!!!! Being iron deficient can make you sooooooo tired and blah. We need that so much in our lives because of the monthly cycle draining us of iron. **** No motivation: I've struggled with this issue tremendously... And, not to sound stupid here but in today's time I'm not surprised just how UNmotivated the growing society of today really is.... When I was YOUNG we didn't have a BILLION tv channels or all the crazy wide variety of 'gaming' available... Kids and Adults today spend WAYYYYYYYYYY too much time 'vegging' rather than like in the old days out walking, playing flash light tag, riding a bike around or just in general LACK the physical exercise we USED to get ' daily'.... With you though "I get it"... as meth can make us so much more animated in the beginning of using and seems to make us more open or free to talk and express, (although it's only temporary).. ya know? When we don't get that JOLT to get us moving from the meth we look at ourselves like a sack of potatoes in a slump on a couch thinking, "What the hell is wrong with me!~?" "I don't feel like doing a damn thing!" Have you any signs of A.D.D. or A.D.H.D as it is called? A lot of my use was prolonged because I have had that since I was a kid and using 'helped' me with being shy and lacking in motivation so much in the beginning. You MAY just need help in THAT area with a shrink for meds if that is something affecting your life. Please note: I'm NOT trying to PROMOTE more use of meds, HOWEVER, 'some' people just NEED the help to balance themselves out. From the time I was in grade school and all through my life I always KNEW I had a chemical imbalance... I just didn't FEEL right. I knew SOMETHING was wrong with me. So, for 'me' after hard core use and prolonged use and almost dying and then quitting cold turkey I personally sought out every avenue I could to address EACH issue I was dealing with ya know? I knew I had to or I'd go stark raving MAD! No motivation, tired all the time/ fatigued, depressed... and on and on and on with anxiety and phobia issues for a while... I still struggle a TON with this stuff but I'm also very medically sick at the same time, life long condition at this point... The problem.... the meth is giving a 'false' world of temporary living that for a brief time in our lives covers up (us inside) and makes us someone else, "The Meth Us" for a while and when we finally get sick enough of how we are living and STOP using, we feel 'cheated' of feeling 'ambitious and outgoing'.... yes? My suggestion is to try to 're-evolve' your old things of your life that used to please you... Sketching? Art? Music? Dancing? A Book club? Activities? I'd try to force yourself to get out there and PUSH the level of activity with something that at one point brought you EXTREME pleasure! Show yourself again just how pleasing some of your old desires STILL can be to you. One of the things that always made ME feel GREAT was helping others... so, when I quit I began helping others in many different ways. I didn't exactly feel 'qualified' to do some things because I had been so knee deep in the JUNK but eventually there was a 'balance' in my life of really reaping the benefits of helping others with things I did and I began to gain SELF WORTH back. Self-worth, and NOT beating ourselves up for mistakes is VERY important to anyone trying to quit or that is struggling. We are human and we make mistakes. It doesn't give us the right to ignore our needs and / or give ourselves permission to be screwing up all the time however you have EVERY right to say, "Hey, ok so I screwed up today, this is what I'm going to do tomorrow to make tomorrow better." I never went though AA or NA or anything like that but one of the basic thought processes for most of us on drugs/ prior drugs is,"Baby Steps" and "Today's Plan"... If we overwhelm ourselves then we will fail. Ok, I'll stop here... for now.. I hope some or all of this helps.. but, your starting point is baby steps and addressing the 'health' of your mind and body. There is a real 'you' inside still and like all of us, you just have to 'find you' again ... you can do it!!     |
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mizrossi |
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Posts: 2 (07/21/09 21:33:18) |
Thank you for taking the time to write to me! I found a lot of valuable information in your reply and comfort too. Now, it's just going to be finding the
strength in myself. I'm just a wreck, everything in my life is. I need someone to understand and to talk to. No one around me really gets it since
i've cut off the ones that are sober and in an attempt to become sober myself i've cut off my druggie buddies also. It's a feeling of being alone
that I can barely stand. It used to help me to write poetry but now that just feels like a sob story everytime. I don't know, I have yet to try some of
the methods you suggested that might help me feel better. Today was the last day I hope. I finished the last of the stash and promised my boyfriend it would
be the end of the drug. Wish me luck, i'm going to need it. Thanks again for your time.
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OKLastone |
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Posts: 439 (07/22/09 13:09:07) SkyzBoardSupporter |
Hey Miz,....Sky pretty much covered it pretty well. You didnt mention how long you've been using meth. The overall amount of time we've subjected our
brains to meth,...as well as the quality and quantity plays a big factor in the entire deal. I started using when I was 15,.....didn't quit until I was 50.
( not for lack of trying ) So, for me, without a doubt the toughest part of quitting was "learning to live" ......living without the high,.. getting
myself to enjoy anything. Rewiring my brain to a natural, normal way of supplying my feeings of joy, reward,...happiness.......It's been a long tough
road,.....Unbelievable the number of times I felt sooooo,....sooooo down and out,...like "is this it?? is this what my life has been brought down
to??"
In short,.....the internet,....sites like this ( thank you again sky,....Bless you sweet lady ) and others,.....the people I've gotten to know. Knowing we aren't alone! To this day, I swear not a soul understands meth addiction like another meth addict. Well, there is a heck of a lot of us out there. And just about every single one of us has been there,.....the feelings of being alone,...empty,.....a life of coulda, shoulda, woulda's, F- that,.....I aint gonna drag ya down anymore than you already are. The biggest thought I remember in getting clean was "is it EVER going to get better?" I promise you,...it does. Never give up,.....nothing is ever a failure,.....there is always something to learn in our battles with it. What your triggers are,....things that cause you to want to use,.....and you'll also find sometimes,.....the cravings appear for no reason,....possibly for the only reason you are feeling strongin your recpvery. A lot of us messed up with the thought " hey, I've been clean a long time,....I think I deserve a bump for a reward,...I'm cool with it now" hahaha, don't be fooled by that. If meth is your beast of burden,.....she'll come at you with every chance, in every way trying to get you back. It never gets any easier to stop,... I wish you the very best of luck,....You got the most important step already taken,.....you are aware it's messin up your life and you need to stop. You can do it. You have any problems, issues, questions,....or just need to blow off,......this wouldnt be a bad place to do that at. It's been kinda slow around here, ..but I and a few others always check back in here,......It was our light at the end of a long tunnel. Stayin away from your druggie buddies is a good plan,.....Only surround yourself with those who have your recovery and goals as their interests in you. Never allow others to drag you down to their levels.....friends,...true friends,....only want the best for their friends.....allowing them,...helping them to obtain their goals.....to become who and what they want to be.........much luv, respect to you. you'll have friends who understand here,.....we're just a keyboard away. I'll check back more often.......take care.
Never go faster than your guardian angels can fly
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